On Friendship Politics

I've always been of the school of thought that friendship is something easily given. Of course, there are different degrees of "friendship", but at the very least, to treat someone with warmth, civility, respect, and decency is something that should be done freely and generously.

To "unfriend" someone based on perceived allegiances or something that happened between other people is part of what I call "friendship politics". And while I get it, most of it strikes me as petty. It can sound something like this:

"Hey, I'm friends with someone who no longer likes you. We're not cool anymore."

"Hey, you haven't put forth sufficient time and effort in proving your friendship to me. We're not cool anymore."

"Hey, our group of friends split in half due to someone else's dispute, and you chose the wrong side. We're not cool anymore."


You're valuing your own good will as something that must be earned, and conversely, something that can be revoked. It's not knighthood for godssakes, just be a nice person. 

In general, I find burning bridges dumb. "Purging" friend lists is dumb. Drawing lines in the sand is dumb. Acquaintances, friends-of-friends, old classmates,  you can all call me a friend. I'll call you the same. It doesn't mean we have to take photo booth pictures together, it just means I regard you with friendliness, dammit.

So to anyone who's ever unfriended anyone on my behalf, I appreciate the sentiment, but you haven't done me any favors. I would never ask that of anyone, unless circumstances were extreme. Granted, I suppose I've never been tested. I've never been in a "bad" break up. But as of yet, I take no joy in dissolving friendships.

I take no joy in the sadness of others under the pretense of fairness. That's called vengeance.

And if the word "vengeance" sounds petty and over-dramatic, maybe it's because the concept itself is petty and over-dramatic.

On The Meaning Of The Holiday

So one time in Europe, some Christians got super tired of being persecuted by the Slightly Different Christians, so they got in boats and sailed to America. As it turns out, they were pretty bad at finding food and were about to starve but the Native Americans showed up and were like "Here's hella corn" and it turned out okay. So fast forward through the near genocide of said Native Americans and the American Revolution and the Hyphy Movement and eventually you get to present day, where we get work off for Thanksgiving. And I wanted to speak, in my own way, about what the holiday means.

Thanksgiving is a time when we all get to slow down, gather close with family or friends, call to mind the blessings we have, and quit being assholes. 

So maybe you don't get work off and you hate your job? Quit being an asshole. You have a job. People are giving you money, and have agreed to do so on a continual basis. Not everyone can say that.

Or maybe you don't have a job, and you're stuck at home doing nothing? Quit being an asshole. You're inside of a home. That is a glorious, baffling status symbol to some people in the world. You are sheltered. The weather can change, and it doesn't effect you. You are nearly invincible to mother nature.

So your family interactions are awkward and strained? Quit being an asshole. You have family that's still alive. Also they like you enough to cook you food, and presumably enough to pretend to like you during the holiday.

So there's a bunch of food and now you have to workout cuz you think your'e fat? Quit being an asshole. There's like a billion people dying of the opposite problem.

Now of course, I'm not saying everyone's an asshole. I but think most of us can be, some times, in some ways, myself included. Not always in action, but in attitude. I'm a lucky bastard in most respects, and to be anything less than grateful makes me a snotty little brat. And yes, kind of an asshole. But on Thanksgiving, I stuff my mouth with food, and I cut that shit out.

This may be an overly glib way of looking at a beautiful thing (but if you haven't noticed, that's kind of my shtick).

Happy Thanksgiving!